Sunday, August 30, 2009

Day 19-Dunsdai, Augusta 27...No peaceful sleep for me

My nightmare returned last night. This time I could see my self more clearly, but I was much younger than I am now. I looked as though I was only fourteen or fifteen. My hair was dirty and disheveled. My facial expression was blank as if I was in a trance or something. I looked horrible. The cloaked figure just stood at the end of what looked like a long corridor and faced me, looking or staring at me? I couldn't tell. I could feel the cold harshness of the shackle around my ankle; I was trapped/imprisoned by someone or something. The whisper I can hear came from somewhere behind me it sounded like "Don't give in.", but I can't be certain. This dream was far more vivid, real and frightening than any of the previous ones. I have to tell Antonia...someone! I feel I can no longer keep this to myself. I will go am going crazy! Sleep wasn't much of an option the rest of the night. I spent the rest of it staring out my window that overlooked Lake Dorina. The sunrise finally broke the spell that the darkness had put me under. I dragged myself over to the wardrobe closet that Antonia's father had stocked with fresh, clean clothes and put something on and went to the dining hall. I was certainly to early for breakfast but a nice house maiden offered me a glass of fresh milk. I drank it while I sat at a table and waited for breakfast to be served. This morning was definitely a blah moment for me. I couldn't get my latest nightmare out of my head. Antonia finally came down and joined me just before breakfast was served. I told her about my reoccurring nightmare over breakfast. She sat there speechless and bewildered; I felt slightly better after confiding in her. We didn't talk about it the rest of the day. I didn't want to and I think she needed time to digest what I had just told her. She looked so much better after a good nights sleep in her own bed. After breakfast, Antonia headed back to her room to further recover per her father's wishes. I, on the other hand, ventured out into Hallsburg to get some fresh air and hopefully some sort of distraction. It worked a little.

Hallsburg is so peaceful and quiet, very different from the hustle and bustle of Distress. Everyone here seems to work at a much more relaxed pace. I sat on a small bench for what seemed like all day and just people watched. I also walked down to the lakefront later in the evening and watched the sun go down. It was so lovely. The deep oranges, bright reds and vibrant purples of the sky over the lake were breathtaking. I didn't want it to end.

Today was a very unusual experience indeed, on one hand, I was woken by the most vivid nightmare to date. On the other hand, I feel such relief in sharing it with Antonia, and being able to spend some quality time by myself thinking and reflecting was good for my soul, as well. Topping it all off with the most beautiful sunset I've ever seen was just icing on the cake. Quite a difference to how the day started for me, that is for sure.

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